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Commonplace Lavatory Laughs

Toilet humor has traditionally served as the comfort zone in everyday journalism, and writers stay alert regarding memorable lavatory incidents and key events, particularly within football. It was quite amusing to discover that an online journalist Adrian Chiles owns a West Bromwich Albion-inspired toilet in his house. Spare a thought regarding the Barnsley supporter who interpreted the restroom somewhat too seriously, and had to be saved from a deserted Oakwell following dozing off in the toilet midway through a 2015 losing match versus the Cod Army. “He had no shoes on and misplaced his cellphone and his headwear,” explained a representative from Barnsley fire services. And nobody can overlook at the pinnacle of his career playing for City, the controversial forward popped into a local college for toilet purposes in 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, then entered and inquired the location of the toilets, subsequently he entered the faculty room,” a student told a Manchester newspaper. “After that he was just walking around the college grounds as if he owned it.”

The Restroom Quitting

Tuesday represents 25 years from when Kevin Keegan quit as the England coach post a quick discussion inside a lavatory booth alongside FA executive David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, subsequent to the memorable 1-0 setback against Germany in 2000 – England’s final match at the legendary venue. According to Davies' personal account, FA Confidential, he stepped into the wet beleaguered England dressing room right after the game, only to find David Beckham in tears and Tony Adams energized, both of them pleading for the official to reason with Keegan. After Dietmar Hamann's set-piece, Keegan moved wearily along the passageway with a distant gaze, and Davies discovered him collapsed – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – in the corner of the dressing room, muttering: “I'm done. I can't handle this.” Stopping Keegan, Davies tried desperately to save the circumstance.

“Where could we possibly locate for a private conversation?” stated Davies. “The tunnel? Crawling with television reporters. The locker room? Packed with upset players. The bathing section? I couldn't conduct an important discussion with the team manager as squad members entered the baths. Merely one possibility emerged. The toilet cubicles. A crucial incident in the Three Lions' storied past happened in the old toilets of a venue scheduled for destruction. The impending destruction could almost be smelled in the air. Dragging Kevin into a cubicle, I secured the door behind us. We stood there, facing each other. ‘My decision is final,’ Kevin declared. ‘I’m out of here. I’m not up to it. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I'm unable to energize the team. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Results

Therefore, Keegan stepped down, subsequently confessing he considered his period as Three Lions boss “soulless”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I struggled to occupy my time. I ended up coaching the blind squad, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It's an extremely challenging position.” Football in England has advanced considerably over the past twenty-five years. For better or worse, those stadium lavatories and those iconic towers are no longer present, whereas a German currently occupies in the technical area Keegan previously used. Thomas Tuchel’s side are among the favourites for next year's international tournament: England fans, don’t take this era for granted. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football is a reminder that things were not always so comfortable.

Current Reports

Join Luke McLaughlin at 8pm BST for Women's major tournament coverage regarding Arsenal versus Lyon.

Daily Quotation

“We stood there in a lengthy line, wearing only our undergarments. We were Europe’s best referees, elite athletes, role models, grown-ups, parents, determined individuals with strong principles … however all remained silent. We barely looked at each other, our eyes shifted somewhat anxiously while we were called forward two by two. There Collina inspected us completely with a chilly look. Mute and attentive” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson reveals the humiliating procedures officials were once put through by ex-Uefa refereeing chief Pierluigi Collina.

Daily Football Correspondence

“What’s in a name? A Dr Seuss verse exists titled ‘Too Many Daves’. Has Blackpool experienced Excessive Steves? Steve Bruce, together with staff Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been dismissed through the exit. So is that the end of the club’s Steve obsession? Not quite! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie remain to oversee the primary team. Total Steve progression!” – John Myles.

“Now you have loosened the purse strings and awarded some merch, I've chosen to type and share a brief observation. Ange Postecoglou claims he started conflicts in the school playground with kids he knew would beat him up. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his decision to join Nottingham Forest. Being a longtime Tottenham fan I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving by the Trent, if he lasts that long, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|